


Oh... Christmas Tree

by SCFrankles



Category: Sherlock Holmes - Arthur Conan Doyle
Genre: Community: watsons_woes, Dialogue-Only, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-05-07 06:26:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5446529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SCFrankles/pseuds/SCFrankles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Watson's Christmas tree through the 12 days of Christmas.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oh... Christmas Tree

**Author's Note:**

> Written for WAdvent Open Post Day #4: [Trimmings](http://watsons-woes.livejournal.com/1473382.html), at Watson's Woes on LJ. (And written late on in the evening as the writer edged closer and closer to unconsciousness.)
> 
> Holmes and Watson are the creations of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
> 
> * * *

“Oh, Dr. Watson! You’ve made a lovely job of your tree!”

“Thank you, Mrs. Hudson. I am rather pleased with it.”

“As you should be! And I suppose you can’t wait to show it to Mr. Holmes…”

 

**_On the first day of Christmas, my true love saw the tree…_ **

“Let me get this straight, Holmes. You entered our sitting room in the dark…”

“That is correct, Watson.”

“And saw a vague shape that caused you some alarm…”

“Well, naturally I thought it was an intruder.”

“So you got out your pistol and decided to shoot at this _eight foot, tree-shaped_ intruder…”

“Well, obviously, when you put it like that…”

“And that is why our tree is now only six foot three.”

“Watson, I can only apologise again. And now I know it’s there, I promise that I will be more careful around the tree for the rest of Christmas.”

 

**_On the second day of Christmas, my true love saw the tree…_ **

“Holmes, I realise that you needed to refresh your baritsu skills...”

“Well, I think I am becoming over reliant on my gun…”

“However, I did ask you to watch what you were doing near the tree.”

“I was keeping well away from the tree! It’s simply that when I lunged with my stick, I had not appreciated how far my reach was, and then…”

“The stick became entangled in the tree’s paper chains. Yes, so you said…”

“So I pulled firmly on the stick to free it, thinking the chains would easily yield.”

“But they didn’t, did they?”

“Look, the tree is only leaning _slightly_ askew...”

“And then to free your stick, you found you had to rip all my carefully prepared chains into tiny, tiny, _tiny_ pieces.”

“Well. Yes. Sorry, Watson.”

 

**_On the third day of Christmas, my true love saw the tree…_ **

“So. You were recreating the various scenes of the murders?”

“Crime does not go away simply because it is Christmas. You know that, Watson.”

“It is very noble of you to keep working on these cases, Holmes. Even when the official forces have given up.”

“Thank you, Watson.”

“But did you have to use my gingerbread men to represent the unfortunate victims?”

“They are still perfectly edible…”

“I am not eating a dismembered gingerbread man, Holmes!”

 

**_On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love saw the tree…_ **

“Holmes, please don’t sulk.”

“I am simply trying my best to help...”

“I know you are. It was a very kind thought of yours to replace the gingerbread men with little paper dolls. I can only admire the skill with which you crafted them. But…”

“Yes, Watson?”

“Your theme of famous convicted murderers is not terribly seasonal. The little nooses especially are making me feel somewhat depressed.”

“You want me to remove the dolls?”

“If you wouldn’t mind.”

 

**_On the fifth day of Christmas, my true love saw the tree…_ **

“Holmes, I know you’re bored but why are you juggling my nuts?”

“I’ve… no real answer to that, Watson.”

 

**_On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love saw the tree…_ **

“He is your responsibility! I was looking forward to those bonbons.”

“Watson, you know what boys are. I turned my back for a minute at most, and when he’d gone I found the tree stripped of sweetmeats.”

“Well, I would never have thought it of Hopkins. Policemen nowadays!”

 

**_On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love saw the tree…_ **

“If my expensive glass ornaments weren’t all lying shattered on the floor, I wouldn’t have believed it was physically possible. Will you _please_ stop playing those d____ high notes on the violin?”

 

**_On the eighth day of Christmas, my true love saw the tree…_ **

“You can’t blame me this time. Mrs. Hudson was the one throwing the pine cones! Just because she was throwing them at me doesn’t make it my fault!”

 

**_On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love saw the tree…_ **

“The needles falling out is perfectly normal.”

“They’ve all fallen out, Holmes. _All_ of them.”

“Yes, all right—I suppose my experiment may have had _some_ effect on the tree but I really can’t see it doing anything so drastic. I mean, _I_ was in the room for the experiment and I’m fine. _You_ were in the room for the experiment and you’re—”

“Holmes? What? What are you staring at?”

“Nothing.”

“Yes, you are. You’re staring at my— Oh, my God! My moustache! Where’s my moustache?!”

 

**_On the tenth day of Christmas, my true love saw the tree…_ **

“Watson—about the angel…”

“Yes, Holmes..?”

“I’m afraid she’s now a _fallen_ angel.”

“Of course she is. Well, I think that’s pretty much everything on the tree destroyed. I’m just surprised that you didn’t manage to set fire to the branches with the candles.”

 

**_On the eleventh day of Christmas, my true love saw the tree…_ **

“Why can’t I keep my mouth shut..?”

 

**_On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love saw the tree…_ **

“Let’s look on the bright side, Watson—at least now we avoid the job of having to take all the decorations off again! Watson..? Where are you going with that bag?”

“I’m going to spend a few days at my club, Holmes. Just till the urge to kill you in your sleep has passed.”


End file.
